The Inspiring Role Model America Deserves

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It seems that Monica Lewinsky, the young slut which once sucked President Bill Clinton’s member of the house is being pushed in the latest progressive attack against “slut shaming.” The New York Times is very excited by the development in their latest piece. It begins with a description of a play meant to advance the feminist “there is rape everywhere” narrative. Because, you know, you should always believe women no matter what. Incredulity is not allowed.

In the scene, a young woman was seated in an interrogation room. She had been asked to describe, repeatedly, what had happened on the night in question — when, she said, on their way to a party, a group of guy friends had pinned her down in a taxi and sexually assaulted her. She had reported them. Now everyone at school knew, everyone had chosen a side.

“My life has just completely fallen apart,” the girl said, her voice shaking. Her parents were in the next room. “Now I’m that girl.”

You sure are, dear. I can’t imagine why the NYT didn’t pick one of the many rape hoaxes that have occurred in the last year to describe instead of this play. Those were equally as fictional.

After this play, Miss Lewinski (no ring yet dear? 41 is getting up there), made a speech which had a message she wanted to make in connection to the play. What was her message?

“Thank you for coming,” Ms. Lewinsky continued, “and in doing so, standing up against the sexual scapegoating of women and girls.”

Oh, I see. So we aren’t supposed to blame you for tempting a married man away from his wife. It was ALL evil Billy the aggressor. You had absolutely no agency in the situation whatsoever. So we should stop accurately perceiving you as a hypergamous slut? Sorry, but it takes two to tango. Bill isn’t innocent, but neither are you dear.

Miss Lewinsky has had a bit of a rough ride trying to cash in on being a slut, unfortunately. She has had to “reinvent” what it means to make money off being a famous slut several times; so far to no avail.

“But it’s also not the Monica of more than a decade ago: the one who created a handbag line and tried her hand at reality TV.”

So she has two failed attempts at getting rich off of sucking the head in charge? Well that sucks… Hopefully she has been able to get the reasonable work of a regular person:

“She splits time between New York and Los Angeles, where she grew up, and London, and said it’s been hard to find work.

At 41, she doesn’t have many of the things that a person her age may want: a permanent residence, an obvious source of income (she won’t comment on her finances), a clear career path.”

Oy Vey! Our dear slut has not managed to either marry a decent guy to support her or to find any meaningful employment. I guess that is why she is trying for a third time to turn her notoriety into something. Oral performed on a famous man has to mean something, doesn’t it? Doesn’t it!?!?!

But wait, surely an advanced University degree could have gotten her a good job. Did she try that?

“Now 41, the former White House intern once famously dismissed by the president as “that woman” holds a master’s degree in social psychology from the London School of Economics.”

Oh dear lord. That woman’s Marxist and victimology studies degree hasn’t paid off? Damn the patriarchy, obviously. LSE is supposed to be pretty good, too. I guess even they can’t make Marxist studies pay off.

Miss Lewinsky began her third re-imagining of the slut life into something with an economic advantage by writing a new essay for vanity fair:

In the essay, which was a finalist for a 2015 National Magazine Award, she declared that the time had come to “burn the beret and bury the blue dress” and “give a purpose to my past.”

Oh you courageous slut, you. How undeserving you were of humiliation for your complicitness in adultery. Girl Power! You show that evil patriarchy that there is absolutely nothing wrong with sucking the head man’s dick! Oh… I guess that wasn’t quite good enough to win the best progressive signalling of the year award. At least sucking a dick got you all the way to the finals! That is still something.

In one of her talks she stated:

“I lost my reputation. I was publicly identified as someone I didn’t recognize. And I lost my sense of self,” she told the crowd.

That’s what happens when you willfully become a slut and an adulteress. It’s called consequences. Don’t worry though, the great and powerful feminist Gloria Steinem is on your side:

“It’s a sexual shaming that is far more directed at women than at men,” Gloria Steinem wrote me in an email, noting that in Ms. Lewinsky’s case, she was also targeted by the “ultraright wing.” “I’m grateful to [her],” Ms. Steinem said, “for having the courage to return to the public eye.”

While I am always happy to provide such a valuable service, unfortunately it isn’t the ultraright wing that does most of the shaming or even has much of an impact…. It is other women [PDF].

However, this time Miss Lewinsky might actually succeed in turning her bedroom talents into cold, hard cash (hot and hard cash?). Feminists have created so many sluts in America that probably weren’t around way back in the 90s that you may finally succeed in turning those dick sucking lips of yours into $, Miss Lewinski:

“And young women were embracing her: rushing up to her after public events, messaging her on social media, asking if they could take selfies. (“Meeting her felt like meeting a pop culture icon,” said Amari Leigh, 17, a cast member in the “Slut” play. “It’s crazy to think that one thing she did, when she was not that much older than I am now, impacted her whole life.”)”

Yep, and now all the young girls can try to cash in by sucking some famous man’s member. Monica is here to set down the proper framework to follow. Monica Lewinsky truly is the Role Model America deserves.

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